Grief Out Loud: Ep. 3 Tips For Talking With Children About Death

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Remember the last time you tried to talk about grief and suddenly everyone left the room? Grief Out Loud is opening up this often avoided conversation because grief is hard enough without having to go through it alone. We bring you a mix of personal stories, tips for supporting children, teens, and yourself, and interviews with bereavement professionals. Platitude and cliché-free, we promise! Grief Out Loud is hosted by Jana DeCristofaro and produced by The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families in Portland, Oregon.

Ep. 3 Tips For Talking With Children About Death 0

Jan 29, 2015

“How do I tell my child about the death?” This is the most common question we receive at The Dougy Center. Someone has died, leaving parents and other adult caregivers to struggle with finding the right words to say to their children. In this episode, we outline tips for talking with children about a death. Adults can start by attending to their own reactions to the death. Often the thoughts and feelings they experience can impede or enhance having an open, honest, supportive conversation with their children. As an adult, what do you need to sort out with feeling shame, blame, confusion, guilt, or other emotions related to how the person died? How can you keep that as your story and not put it onto your children?

Summary of tips for talking with children:

Tell the truth
Use concrete, age-appropriate language
Allow for questions - in the moment and over time
Be prepared to tell the story over and over, esp to younger kids
Refer to The Dougy Center resources (below)
Know that you are providing children with a safe, trusting foundation from which to experience their grief